One year! Yay!

So Khang and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary last week in Austin, TX!

Taken with my Nexus camera phone.

Y’all, it’s been awhile since we celebrated a “first-anything” so I was very excited during the days leading up to June 25.

We decided to write a letter to each other every year on our anniversaries.

Not only will it be wonderful to read the letters down the road, but I also picture our grandchildren reading them.

And well that’s something worth cherishing.

I won’t blog my letter, but I’ll express my feelings on our marriage this past year.

Fair warning, extremely mushy-gushy reading ahead.

One year.

People asked me countless times,

“How’s married life?”

“Any surprises about Khang you didn’t know about before?”

12 years in and I’m still learning new things about Khang and I expect that to never change.

Marriage has (so far) been sweet bliss.

Everytime I think about my love for him, I marvel about how much it has grown since Day One of “puppy love”.

I’ve wondered if my love will ever stop growing because I love him so so much.

And in those moments couldn’t imagine to ever love him more.

When I was writing my letter to Khang,

I realized it’s his love that forces my love to widen and grow.

His love has and will never stop growing.

It constantly forces my heart to shift and expand to hold all the love he has for me.

And it’s the most amazingly beautiful thing to look forward to the rest of our lives together.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had our trials this past year and still continue to.

However we’ve learned by now that with all the challenges bring more strength between us.

And it sounds crazy, but I get excited when we get into a disagreement because it’s another opportunity for us to understand each other on a deeper level.

I vowed my life to this man forever, so of course I’m going to put all my effort and love into it.

Which leads me to the “most surprising” thing about Khang post-marriage.

To be honest, I kinda always thought I put more effort into our relationship than Khang.

I didn’t hold it against him or anything, but I took pride in myself that I was responsible for the majority of the happy balance in our relationship.

Because I thought I was the one who sacrificed more, compromised more, understood more…

I was wrong.

I can’t explain exactly when I realize this or what made me see it, but one day it came to me and I saw it all at once.

I saw all the effort and care Khang provided and wondered in awe at his kindness and love for me, our marriage, and our life.

He puts so much of himself into us.

And I was oblivious to it.

I felt so dumb and self-absorbed to have never noticed how much work he truly puts into our relationship.

Maybe it was being married that finally made me see it.

But gosh I feel so blessed to have the best husband in the world for me.

Okay, I’ll stop.

Here are some photos I took of Khang at our AirBnB in Austin.

He didn’t really want me to because he’s not “good” yet, but me being me wanted to document our life during this time.

He’s been at the strings for a good month now and I enjoy watching him enjoy himself.

Taken, of course, with Hans.

Hope you guys have start noticing the difference between digital and film now.

Portra 800 rated at 200.

He may or may not still be playing the guitar next year, but I’ll only look back on these photos and hear the lovely and not-so-lovely sounds in my head of the misplayed and on-key notes he tried so hard to play.

Thanks for reading and following along

with me,

Jules.

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Phamtastic Together [Part 3]

Um yeah. I’ll just let most of the pictures explain.

We danced to “Oceans” by Hillsong and “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.

My brother-in-law Lou recorded most of it and I’ll admit that I’ve watched it at least once a day so far. My favorite thing is actually watching my Mom’s reaction in the background. She was loving our first dance so much and looked so tickled with joy. Totally worth it.

I rushed straight to the restroom after our Father-Daughter dance, collapsed on a chair, and bawled my eyes out. Ngoc came in right after and asked if I was okay. I reassured her between my sobs that they were just “happy tears”. She smiled and said she understood because she knew how much my Daddy meant to me.  We asked everyone to “take a break” and sing along with us. The song was “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys. It was ahhhhmazing! I highly recommend stopping your wedding to belt out a favorite song.kj-803

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kj-820 kj-847 kj-763 Please note one of our groomsmen, who I shall not name, in the background. Now look at the photo below. kj-784 kj-773 kj-749kj-710kj-681

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And I would do it all over again. Best. Day. Ever. 

And crazy thing is life has only gotten better and better.

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Phamtastic Together [Part 2]

This church is special to us. Khang actually asked me to be his girlfriend on the front steps of this church after mass on June 25, 2005. Who knew we’d be married 11 years later? Not us, we almost broke up during the first week of dating! It’s seen Khang and I flourish under its roof at many different stages in our relationship. In theory, our church and its community watched us grow. I remember the priest telling me once to practice “humility” in showing my affection with Khang and recall the nun bribing Khang to play the role as Joseph because I was Mary in a Christmas play. Oh those were the days.

I think some might feel nervous about having a church full of people focused on them the entire time, but I felt very comfortable up at that alter. I think it’s because Khang and I had been up there  together multiple times before.

The ceremony was a blur. However, during our profession of love there was a short, clear, and vivid moment when I looked up to see Khang’s eyes welling up with tears. It was only a glance and I later asked him about it. He admitted he was on the verge of tears and tried very hard to not blink so they wouldn’t fall down his face. Khang is not one for public emotion. So I was pretty happy to catch him when I did.

I finished my profession of love at around 4am the day of the wedding. Not because I procrastinated! I found the right words to say that morning…I guess all the emotions and realizations finally hit me. Here’s what I remember:

“Khang,

Words cannot describe how blessed I am to have found you before finding myself.

My heart has not been still since age 15 because of your crazy and beautiful love.

Growing up together has allowed our relationship to evolve. The truth is…our love…has and will always be changing.

Because our love isn’t just an emotion but a continuous thread of actions towards one common goal. I used to think this goal was to make you happy. But I was wrong.

I learned from Day One of Marriage Preparation that my job from this day on as your wife is to make sure you make it into heaven by the grace of God when the time comes.

Now this means many things, but I’m overwhelmed by the thought that I get to love you as much as God loves you.

I know it won’t be easy. Rest assured, I’m ready.

I’m ready to…

Help you grow,

Help you explore,

Help you discover.

Because with every passing day you my dearest only get better with age and with that so does our love and our relationship towards God.

And I know with His guidance,

our love knows no limits.

You are my greatest adventure Mr. Pham and I look forward to continuing this beautiful life we’ve created together thus far.”

Or something like that. Yes, all from memory. I’ll never forget it.

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After our ceremony, things just started rolling.

The bestest wedding party giving our very bestest attempt at “serious faces”. Naaaaaaailed it. Maybe. Still waiting on video.

But no joke, this group of beautiful people did an hour-long photo/videoshoot in summer weather. In formal attire. In June. In the South y’all.

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Up next was the reception. Or what I like to think…a series of epic dancing proportions.

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Phamtastic Together [Part 1]

I remember crying in my car to my best friend, Michelle, about having to wait three years to marry Khang. Upset because we needed time to save up enough money to pay for a big wedding that our parents wanted. I’m not going to lie, there was bitterness in the beginning. But after much discussion, we accepted the sacrifices and agreed to our parents’ way…and it surprisingly ended up being the best way.

I wouldn’t trade our engagement/wedding experience for anything even that “Mountain Wedding” we thought we once wanted. Not only did Khang and I grow deeper in our relationship, we grew deeper in our faith. We started praying daily together and began to spiritually get ready for our wedding and more importantly our marriage. As always, God has a plan and it’s wonderful when I’m finally able to find out his blessings for me. For us. Maybe I’ll share more of that journey one day.

But for now, here’s our wedding story from my perspective. The highlights of course.

Okay, so you know that feeling you get when someone says “You’re so beautiful” and because of the way they say it and the look in their eyes you just know they mean it? You feel like the most beautiful creature in the whole world because it’s like that person sees all the beauty you hold at that very moment? You’re wonderfully caught off guard. Well this is how Khang always gets me when he does it. I cannot think of a moment where this happened and I was all doll’d up. It always unexpectedly happens when I’m bare-faced with messy hair.

This is why I decided to go almost make-up free with the exception of eyelash extensions (no mascara) and Burt Bees lip balm for our “first look”. I wanted Khang to see his idea of beautiful me. We woke up early in the morning before all the hustle and bustle at a secluded area in Gulf Island National Seashore Park in my hometown of Ocean Springs, MS.

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After a little photo session, we headed back to our separate houses to get ready. My bridal squad included my best friend, Michelle, my two sisters Jill and Joy, and my sister-in-law Ngoc.

It was important to me to have these four lovely ladies by my side. I remember giving a little impromptu speech-something along these lines:

“I know today is about celebrating Khang and I, but I want y’all to know that I’m celebrating my relationship with each one of you too. People always praise how long Khang and I have been together… but if you think about it…I’ve known you… *pointing at Ngoc* just as long as I’ve known Khang…*pointing at Michelle* since babyhood…*pointing at Joy* your whole life…*pointing at Jill* my entire life… I want y’all to know Khang and I wouldn’t be here today about to get married without the love and support you’ve shown us throughout our relationship. Thank you so much. It means more than you’ll ever know.”

There were some teary eyes so I proceeded to do the chicken dance to lighten the mood because that hair and make-up took a lot of work!

Off we went to the place where it all started: Vietnamese St. Martyrs Catholic Church in Biloxi, MS.

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